THE 2026 TOUR TICKET MEGA BUNDLE!
GET 25% OFF ANY PHYSICAL MUSIC WHEN YOU BUY A TICKET TO THE 2026 HEADLINE TOUR!
OR
GET 15% OFF ANY MERCH ITEM WHEN YOU BUY A TICKET TO THE 2026 HEADLINE TOUR!
OR
DO BOTH!
Just pick what show you'd like to go to from the drop down menu as well as the merch you'd like and the discount will be added automatically!
Buy tickets for our album release headline tour, get merch and music for less! Show up looking like you knew what gig you were going to when you left the house. Or alternatively buy a record and learn the words. OR DO BOTH!
Legend.
Desert Storm
Desert Tee, design by True Spilt Milk
Truly stunning design by our good friend True Spilt Milk, it's a beauty!
Printed on Gildan Softstyle T-Shirt
Pink Shack Attack
Haunted Shack, design by True Spilt Milk
Truly stunning design by our good friend True Spilt Milk, it's a beauty!
Printed on Gildan Softstyle T-Shirt
The "New Era" Tote
We have found the new sound.
Get one step closer to finding it yourseld by putting your vinyl and other gubbins in this sexy new tote, complete with our shiny new wobbly logo.
There's a black one and a white one... take your pick!
The Black Hoodie
Buy it, it's soft, it's warm, it dazzles, it excites.
Biffy are mint.
The Black One
A CLASSIC! Why didn't we think of it sooner?
The Cat Skull Patch
Emboidered Patches... FINALLY!
"Haggard Cat you absolute idiots, why haven't you made embroidered patches yet???"
...And so, 5 years later, they did.
70mm diameter. They look mint sewn onto denim, just saying.
The Floral Zip Hoodie
A new hoodie! OMG you need this!
EXTREMELY LIMITED EDITION!
The Glitch Cat One
DIGITAL STYLE
Put this on and immediately travel into the future. Science.
The Grey One
Grey + skull = MATHS
The Haggard Panther
We originally released this exclusively to folks at 2000 Trees, but you loved 'em, so here it is in a fresh colourway available to all!
Printed on natural Gildan Softsyle tee.
The JUST LIVING One
To be worn with ripped jeans
You've got the ripped jeans, You've got the long hair You used to raise hell, but now you're just living there.
Sounds about right. Now let the world know via your t-shirt pocket print.
Matt did the drippy doodle.
Snap up yours now and be forever cheerful.
Printed on Gildan Softstyle
The Lightning One
Be the talk of all of your friends with this sick as FUCK T-shirt. In fact, you're already the talk of your friends, they're mocking you because you don't already own this sick as FUCK T-shirt. Better act fast then...
Totally rad art by Matt Wilkins aka Matt Sabbath aka Legend
ps. there's nowt on back
YES!
The MUSTARD One
The classic is back, but now in everyone's new favourite colour MUSTARD! Get with the aesthetic yo!
Stanley is on the front, our logo is on the back. Printed on lush Bella & Canvas T-shirt.
The OG One
Your new favourite tee.
Rad.
The Red One
We like the colour red. We imagine you do too, so here's our logo on a red t-shirt. Easy.
The Satellite
We've got some left over stock from our recent 2025 tour, made by our own fair hand. Get them while you can, when they're gone, you're fucked.
The Skull's Gone Tie-die!
You're a tiger!
We've got you covered for the festivals this Summer!
How the hell have we not done a tie-die t-shirt before? Well this one isn't technically tie-die, but the print sure is... so yeah - Printed in full colour, Stanley nice and big on the front, wobbly groovy fucking logo on the back all small and trendy like.
So whether you're going to burning man or just blazing one up you know you just have to do it in a sick as fuck tie-die.
Super limited edition, grab one while you can, or don't I'm not your Dad.
The Skull's Gone Yellow!
The skull is yellow, the shirt is black.
Surely you can't be serious? We are serious, and don't call us Shirley! It's our Stanley ready for the new era in glorious YELLOW print.
Our logo is on the back. Gildan Softstyle.
The Stormy Cat One
These little beauties were only available at our shows throughout 2022... UP UNTIL NOW! Now you can get one even if you're on the opposite side of the planet to us via the magic of the digital net! WOW!
And just look at these beauties! It's criminal that we've not made them available sooner really. Get yours now and be the bell of the ball whilst also demonstrating your exquisite music taste to the world.
The White Hoodie
White hoodies are cool as ice. THEY JUST ARE.
The White One
The same as the black one, but opposite.
True Norwegian Black Metal Tee
White print on black garment, classic!
It's very metal. It's very riff.
It's basically just fire on cotton.
Get one, you daft sod!
Printed on ruddy lovely Gildan Soft
Challenger - Vinyl
Our first record. The one with Bone Shaker on. The one with American Graffiti on. We'll sign it for you if you ask nicely.
Track listing:
1 - The Patriot 2 - American Graffiti 3 - Gravedigger 4 - Bad News (Travels Fast) 5 - Goldberg 6 - The Legend 7 - Bone Shaker 8 - The Felon 9 - Bearfoot 10 - High roller
Cheer Up - 10" Yellow Vinyl
Our brand new EP - CHEER UP, on delectable translucent yellow 10" vinyl! Limited to only 300 copies, made by us, distributed by us - it's all us and we're DIY until we die baby, damn that's a sexy product!
Track Listing:
- Quit Your Jobs
- Amateur Dramatics
- Water Me Down
- Fucking TV
- Cow
Cheer Up - CD
Our brand new EP - CHEER UP, on everyone's favourite medium, the compact disk! Made by us, distributed by us - it's all us and we're DIY until we die baby, damn that's a sexy product!
Track Listing:
- Quit Your Jobs
- Amateur Dramatics
- Water Me Down
- Fucking TV
- Cow
Common Sense Holiday - Vinyl [ALL COLOUR VARIANTS]
Our second album Common Sense Holiday on tasty wax vinyl. We've got all three colour variants back in stock, so snap up yours now!
An awesome album, beautifully packaged! In white, red or classic black!
Drop us a note and we'll even sign it for you!
Cheers
Coloured Vinyl While Stocks Last!